Dealing with defeat.

Sometimes life doesn’t go according to plan. We can do our best to scheme, think of obstacles that may arise in our path, imagine possible outcomes, hope for the best and yet still have the entire project fall apart.

I was questioning whether I should make this post. I do my best to share positivity and my triumphs, but the reality is that I have kept quiet about the countless times where you could say I was “defeated”.

After spending months with my team trying to prevent the Beijing Blood Olympics from taking place, the games still happened. Upon joining the #score4rights2022 campaign as their spokesperson in hopes of getting Olympians to take a stance against the genocide inflicted on my people by the Chinese Government, I was deeply saddened to see hundreds of athletes turn a blind eye to the plight of the Uyghurs. Just in 2022 I have applied to multiple jobs and grants in hopes of funding some projects, only to be let down. I will not go into some of the personal goals that I have set which fell through the cracks, but let’s just say I remain hopeful that there is someone out there for me.

Although I have been “defeated” more times than I “won”, I would not consider these moments a loss. For the only loss I believe in is a loss of time. My time could have been spent doing nothing, or working towards my goals. Through the campaigns I have worked on, I have learned what works and what doesn’t; as there was no playbook to follow in the first place. I have learned that I should not rely too much on institutional funding and that I need to make my own money if I really want to see some of my ideas come to life. I have learned through my failed attempts at a relationship what it is that I really need from a significant other.

Within every moment there is a blessing, even through the hardships we can derive lessons. I remind myself before anyone else, that every attempt I take at becoming who I want to be will become a part of the foundation of what I am trying to build. Remember that success is measured in decades, and just because you lost the battle doesn’t mean you can’t win the war. Stay consistent and keep your chin up!